November

In just a week, I'll be in Dallas, trying to sleep, waiting to make the trip to Atlanta and then to Israel. Nathan, I hope I can still call you to pass the time. You will find this post interesting. It seems that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, someone out there manages to keep me up on things. The name has been blotted to protect the...umm, yeah.

The Group ****** announced their new member this week (I heard about it today), and I find it’s a weird place to be that I’m in: torn between caring for the people in ******, but no longer following the group. At this moment, I really have no desire to ever see them again in concert, even though I’d see Skillet, Downhere or Red in a heartbeat. And I’m not bitter towards ****** anymore. Just not interested. I am waiting to see if Lindsey is still going to want to make the OKC concert, and I hope she doesn’t so I’m not forced to speak the truth of my feelings. She’s still CCM, but I’m not. The only reason ****** is even on my iPod is because of the way I feel about them as people and the special place they have in my heart. If it wasn’t for that, I’d probably already sold all my CDs. How much do you think I'd get for the autographed ones, Nate? lol

Wow. Only a week to go, from tomorrow night. I won't leave Dallas until like 4pm. Didn't get that info til last Friday, or I would've skipped the overnight in Dallas. But better to make the flight than to miss it due to a delayed or canceled flight out of here. We don't leave Atlanta until nearly 11pm, and then land in Tel Aviv the next evening at 5:20 local time. They are 8 hours ahead of us there in the CST zone. My years traveling so much for ****** taught me to keep my excitement levels down to a tolerable level. I'm not pinging all the time like I once did before an exciting trip. I must admit, I pinged when the packed arrived last Friday with all the final information. And just as I'd calmed down, my mom started to ping. Hilarious.

Family is crazy as always. One of my sisters and her daughter will be moving back to live with Mom and Dad for awhile, until my sister can get back on her feet. The bf that had promised so much had turned out to be abusive. One of my mom's sisters is having surgery in the morning to remove the big toe on her right foot, and hopefully not too much more. It will depend on how much skin is viable to cover the wound. The scary part of all this is she's very fat and in bad medical shape, so going under general anesthesia could kill her. I hope it doesn't, just two weeks before Thanksgiving. If you don't mind, prayers would be helpful.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, we will be having a Thanksgiving dinner in Israel. Other than that night, everything else will be local cuisine. If you happen to get the Daystar Network, they'll be filming live from a worship service we'll be in on Nov 21. Not that I expect to be on the camera...in fact hope dearly that I'm not. But my family will be able to say, "My daugther (sister, aunt) is there!!" I hope to wear my MercyMe hoodie, but I don't know yet what I will be wearing when.

I'm finally free of the depression that's haunted me for months. I broke down into tears before church a few weeks ago (I almost NEVER cry in front of ANYONE), and my pastor, who's like a father, wouldn't let the service even begin until everyone had gathered around me to pray. I cried pretty much all day, but their love and encouragement was what I needed to fight my way back to faith in God. Yeah, I'd actually lost it for awhile. It's a painful place to be, not being able to find the faith you once had. Searching your entire soul and finding only empty shelves.

I guess that's it for now.